Wednesday, November 16, 2011

a reminder to really look


I want these images to remind me to look.  To actually open my eyes to the world when I step outside my house, and even when I am within.  So many days I find myself rushing out the door, my mind on the various places I'm off to, the people I may be seeing, the things I may be doing.  And at the same time, the gardener in me is doing a quick survey of the front yard: the bermuda sneaking in, hiding among my natives, the pineapple sage has lost its last bloom, the white sage giving off its sweet scent in the morning dew.  But it's just that- a quick survey.

I am not a rose person- never have been.  When we first moved into this house, we inherited about 10 rose bushes.  9 of them are in the front, right next to the driveway.  I had big plans for that section- there was no irrigation going to it (meaning I would have to hand water those rose plants all summer long) so it was the perfect space to begin my foray into natives.  As I said, I had big plans.  That first summer turned into fall, turned into winter, turned into spring, turned into summer and the seasons kept changing and I started to prune the roses, and I figured out how to set up a drip line that I could attach a hose to once or twice a week, Jed started dumping coffee grounds at their bases, and the roses flourished.  And the thing is, I am still not a rose person, but I am definitely a fan of anything beautiful.  And I finally had to admit, these roses were stinkin' beautiful.  No two were alike, they had clearly been chosen for their delicacy and scent.  These were no grocery store roses- these were the real thing. 

And the best part is that they are right there on the side of my driveway, releasing their scent into my car as I drive away and greeting me with that same sweet fragrance upon returning home.  And because they are not store quality roses, the blooms rarely last more than a day.  They go from tight bud to full bloom within a couple days and to bring them inside is to embrace their fleeting beauty, as petals can be found within a day or two surrounding their vase. 

And so I've decided to literally stop and smell the roses more often.  They may not be 'my kind of flower' but what is really?  They are surely beautiful, fragrant and put up with my neglectful style of gardening.  And they are right there.  I pass by them every day.  They are my visual cue to slow down, return to this actual moment, right here in the world and be present.  They are my reminder to really look: at where I am, who I am, and to be genuinely present and at peace with that reality. 

So, I will listen to that inner voice that we won't be late if I go inside to get my camera to spend an extra 2 minutes really looking at a flower, that it's not too cold to capture that tree in just the right evening light, that I'm not too tired to really get down into the dirt with my hands and plant those winter greens.  I have time.  There is always time. 

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