I was talking with my sister the other day about how easy it is to compare your own child to others. I was commenting on how everyone thought that Nathaniel started crawling relatively early, which was taken to mean he would probably start walking early as well. I would go places with him when he was 7 or 8 months old and people would see him crawling around or beginning to cruise on furniture and be surprised (in a good way) that he was getting around so well. Well, it's easy to be proud when everyone thinks your kid is a genius. Now, however, some of those same babies that weren't even beginning to crawl when Nate was across the room, are beginning to walk. I had an interesting conversation with a mom of one of those kids today. We were watching her daughter walk across the room when she casually mentioned that she had started walking 2 weeks ago. I said, "That's great." To which she replied, "When did Nathaniel start walking?" I told her that he wasn't really taking any independent steps yet, he still held on to furniture and walked around that way. She then asked how old he was, to which I replied, "Almost 13 months." You would have thought I had told her 13 years, for the look of concern that crossed her face. "Chloe's almost 12 months in a couple weeks, I guess they're not too far apart," was her verbal response.
I can totally see how people's own self-worth gets wrapped up in their kids. I mean, as a stay at home mom, this is my job. This is what I do all day. Perhaps if I extrapolated further, I could say that my son's successes are also mine as this is the work that I do. If he's walking at 10 months, that's because I have him on a strict walking schedule. If he's saying 10 words that's because we go through flashcards each morning and afternoon, carefully pronouncing words and pointing them out in context. And when you're standing among a bunch of other moms who are feeling the same way it turns into that dreaded cliche: the mommy wars. Mom's judging other moms based on what the child is doing/how he or she is doing it.
I don't know where all this is going, it's late and this is my final post for the night. In the end, I don't feel bad about Nathaniel not walking. Heck, he's hard enough to keep track of crawling. I suppose I kind of had a reality check today of how easy it is to fall into that trap of gauging my self worth from my child's development (or lack of). Don't worry. It didn't last. I still think he's the best kid ever :)
All that as an intro to a video. Nate standing. My favorite part is his obvious pride in what he's doing. My second favorite part is the panting he does as he's getting up. My third favorite part is that he's chewing on a foam avocado. He's my favorite. I bet you couldn't tell :)
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